Here’s what Alpha Mom has to say about Week 5. For you other bloggers this is probably the 4th or 5th time you’re reading this, but she’s so funny!
- Is about the size of a sesame seed.
- Looks more like a tadpole than a human-variety baby.
- Making developmental leaps and bounds by the hour like a damned GENIUS CHILD.
- Are totally for-real pregnant, with a positive home pregnancy test to prove it and everything.
- Are definitely popping a prenatal vitamin everyday — you can pick them up at any grocery store or vitamin shop. Your doctor can also write you a prescription, but if your insurance doesn’t cover them it’s perfectly fine to buy them off the shelf.
- If you don’t FEEL very pregnant yet, don’t panic. It’s early. Breast tenderness and fatigue may be all you’ve got at this point.
- Oh, and yes, it is time to stop smoking, drinking, doing drugs and licking inner-city mailboxes, if you’re into that sort of thing.
So far I don’t feel pregnant, I feel like I just have a big ole massive case of PMS. I have had two major cravings this week- one for a cold cut and the other for a banana milkshake. I indulged both of these cravings, even though I shouldn’t have eaten the cold cut because of the lunch meat. But, one little piece of bologna isn’t going to hurt anything, right? The other thing I’ve noticed is bad dreams! I keep having really vivid dreams and they’re mostly bad. Not necessarily scary, but just negative. Like I do something wrong or somebody ends up mad at me. So weird. Last night I had two SCARY dreams. One involved a naked man on a motorcycle and the other involved a gangster in a bar.
And, no picture because there’s definitely nothing pregnant about this belly!